7 ways to cope with grief

Grief is a universal yet deeply personal experience. We typically understand this as losing a loved one, but loss and grief can come in many forms, from going through a divorce to being let go from your job or losing your health and grieving a future you once dreamed of.

There is no single “right” way to grieve; no one set plan you can follow, and no fixed timeline for healing.

In order to cope with grief it’s not about forgetting who or what you’ve lost, but about learning how to live with the pain in a way that allows your life to continue meaningfully.

With that in mind, I’m going to share seven techniques that can help you to navigate the complex emotional landscape of grief.

1. Let yourself feel

Grief brings on a lot of strong emotions, from sadness and anger to confusion and denial, and though these are challenging to deal with, it’s important that you don’t ignore them.

Accepting and feeling these emotions rather than trying to repress them is an important step towards healing. And remember, everyone grieves differently and your feelings are always valid, no matter what they are .

So don’t hide them or try to push your feelings down; let yourself feel.

2. Talk to someone

Although grief is a deeply personal experience, it is also much harder to deal with on your own. Talking can be a hugely beneficial tool to help ease your pain. And there are lots of people you can talk to.

You might wish to speak with close friends or family, they might be going through the same thing. Alternatively, talking to a counsellor can create a safe space for you to be open and honest.

Talking therapy is chosen by lots of individuals, thanks to its range of benefits, not least of all that it can sometimes be easier opening up to a stranger than someone close to you. 

3. Take care of your physical health 

Grief can impact your body as well as your mind, having an effect on your physical health. Some ways it can impact you physically include:

• • Loss of appetite

• • Exhaustion or fatigue

• • Inability to sleep

• • Anxiety, breathing difficulties and panic attacks

• • Increased cortisol (stress hormone)

• • Headaches or muscle pain

That’s why it’s so important to take care of your physical health as best you can. To combat these physical symptoms, make sure to eat well, rest and exercise whenever you feel able to.

This doesn’t have to be perfect or something you achieve every day, but every little step helps towards managing the physical impact and helping your body cope with grief and the emotional stress it is facing. 

4. Regulate your nervous system

We’ve touched on how grief can impact you physically, but we haven’t shared much on how it can actually dysregulate your nervous system.

Your nervous system is the control centre for how you experience grief, stress and safety and when you’re dysregulated, everything feels harder: emotionally, physically and cognitively.

So in order to take back some control, you should try breathing exercises and mindful activities that bring calm. For example,

• • Slow exhale breathing

• • Gentle walking

• • Warm showers or relaxing baths

• • Hand-on-chest breathing

These acts help to calm the body so that your mind can better cope with what you’re experiencing. 

5. Express grief through creativity or past times 

Setting aside time for self-care, and in particular engaging in creative hobbies, can help you to release emotions. Whether you enjoy writing, reading, painting, music or running, there are lots of healthy ways you can express your grief and get a little relief.

Some people also find a moment of peace and comfort in little rituals, such as lighting a candle for someone you’ve lost, keeping their memories alive. These acts might seem small, but they can be a great way to ground you and help you release some of the strong emotions you feel inside. 

6. Try to keep to your routine 

When you’re experiencing loss and grief, your normal routine can be disrupted, especially if you’ve lost a close loved one, a job or a partner. However, trying to keep hold of small parts of your daily routine can help make things more ‘normal’ when you’re facing a wave of new emotions.

For example, it could be that you start every day with a coffee, end every day with a nice bath, attend a local club or meet your friend for a catch up once a month. Hanging on to these parts of your routine can really help you to navigate otherwise turbulent times.

So, although it’s important not to put pressure on yourself, choose the parts of your routine that you value the most and make sure you’re making time for these moments, no matter how small they may seem. 

7. Be kind to yourself 

Healing takes time, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to feeling better or moving on. That is why it is so important that you are patient and kind to yourself.

Don’t judge yourself for not feeling better or not being able to manage common tasks. Practise self-compassion, allow yourself to feel and take as long as you need to do so.

Do you need someone to help you cope with grief and start to heal?

If you need a little help with these coping mechanisms or you want someone to talk to about what you’re experiencing, reaching out to a professional counsellor can be a helpful first step.

You can find out more about my counselling services, and even book in for a free 20-minute consultation, here.